FREAK ARTIFACTS STOLEN FROM MUSEUMS

BOB STOLEN FROM GATES

A copy of Microsoft Bob signed by Melinda Gates has been stolen from the Microsoft Museum of Microsoft, located directly under the Microsoft Employees Store in building 27 North at Microsoft's Redmond campus. The piece is considered irreplaceable because while tens of thousands of copies of Microsoft Bob were printed, nobody else seems to have a copy.

Museum Curator Alfred Hickock (formerly of the Hormel Museum of Spam ) had this to say: "Microsoft Bob is unique. While millions of copies of Windows 3.11 for Workgroups still exist in their original boxes, it seems that nobody has retained a packaged copy of Microsoft Bob. That's what makes this theft so heartbreaking. Children just won't be able to see what kind of impact Bob had on the industry."

Late breaking news: A copy of Microsoft Bob suddenly appeared on Ebay, in new sealed condition. Acting on a tip, Police raided the home of a Quebecois dealer in software antiquities and found the copy stolen from the Microsoft Museum. Also recovered were two OEM copies of Windows 2.0, a copy of MS-DOS 2.11, and a Picasso featuring a cubist rendition of a woman whose eyes resembled juxtaposed floppy disks.

MUM’S BEST BROACH STOLEN FROM MUSEUM

A one-of-a-kind broach was stolen from a Richmond, VA museum.  The scarab broach was originally found in 1914 while excavating a tomb located in Memphis, Egypt.  No other similar scarab broach has ever been found. 

Security officials indicate that the display case was smashed with a blunt object.  Alarm and security systems were not triggered during the heist, and inquiry into why the system failed is underway.  No other objects were stolen from the exibit.

DINO DOG STOLEN

A rare dinosaur skeleton has been stolen from a museum in south-eastern Australia.

The 110 million-year-old fossil of a parrot-beaked dinosaur, Psittacosaurus sinensis, is believed to be one of only six in the world. The skeleton, on loan to Newcastle Regional Museum from China, is 60 centimetres (24 inches) tall. "It's the size of a dog but the skeleton is more like that of a turkey," said museum director Gavin Fry.

Police are investigating the theft, while the museum has offered A$5000 (US$3250) for the return of the exhibit.  It was part of a display of Chinese dinosaurs designed to show the link between modern-day birds and larger dinosaurs.  "It's not of great monetary value, tens of thousands of dollars rather than millions, but its scientific value is undisputed," said Mr Fry.

The thief or thieves broke security glass to get to the skeleton.  Some of the bones were found in and around the museum, leading to speculation that the theft was an amateur act.